Extreme sports on your mind!
10 days of Vipassana meditation: A journey out of your comfort zone
I think we can all agree on one point: humans consist of body and mind. How much effort we put into daily thorough cleaning and the general maintenance of bodily functions: from standard measures such as showering, brushing teeth and cutting hair to cosmetic surgery. In general, many people attach great importance to the fact that their body is in the best external condition.
But what about the second part, which essentially defines us as humans? The spirit. What do we do to keep it clean and in shape? In our time, the mind, in contrast to the body, is often exposed to very high stress. Personally and professionally, we travel quickly and with a lot of information - always online and always up to date. Numerous statistics show that many people's mental health is not in particularly good shape. It is generally reported that mental health problems are increasing worldwide and also in Germany. In particular, illnesses such as depression, anxiety disorders and burnout are challenges that many people around the world face.
But what about the rest of the people, the clear majority who don't have depression, anxiety disorders or burnout and are healthy on paper? Do all these people live in peace and harmony? That's what everyone is actually looking for. You want to live in peace with yourself and everyone else - to put it simply, be happy. In everyday reality, however, this is exactly where there is a lack - although the external conditions are almost perfect, many often feel restless, aggressive, caught in negative thought loops and suffer from high internal pressure. The problem is that someone who is in this state usually doesn't keep these moods to themselves, but diligently shares them with everyone around them.
What do we do to counteract this phenomenon of perceived “unhappiness in happiness”? Who or what can help us as humanity against anger, aggression, negativity and various conflicts? Excessive enjoyment, consumption, vacation, sport or alcohol are supposed to bring balance and the desired relaxation for many. The intended effect is undoubtedly doubtful - because the high level of anger, negativity and disharmony is omnipresent. Be it within us, right on our doorstep, to the hatred on the internet. The small and large, internal and external conflicts cannot be overlooked.
Perhaps the numerous distractions have created a layer of relaxation and peace on the surface, but deep down the suppressed negativities lurk like dormant volcanoes. Most people are familiar with the often seemingly uncontrollable pattern: from time to time they come to life and without warning there is an impulsive, often verbal, outburst. One really wonders what the root of the misery is! When I look at myself, I can see that I fall into impulsive negative thinking whenever I don't like someone's behavior or when something happens that I don't want. To put it simply: When undesirable things happen, I tense up. It seems as if it is these blind, remote-controlled inner reaction patterns that cause the various disharmonies. So I wouldn't have a problem at all if everything in life went the way I wanted it to, but of course that's completely impossible. It's a shame, but no one in the world will always have all their wishes fulfilled. Given this fact, one would have to find a way to stop reacting blindly to life's adversities, but rather to remain peaceful and harmonious. Easier said than done !
It's obvious - escaping into distraction doesn't seem to be a solution. You have to face the problem of negativity and our inner reaction patterns if you want to create lasting inner peace. Theoretically, the next step in human development would have to take place on the human-spiritual level, not on the material-technical level. Because how are we supposed to finally begin to resolve major conflicts if we are already unable to successfully pacify our own internal conflicts? So it will require every single one of us, because the change in the world towards peace, harmony and happiness can only come from the individual. So who are the experts in this field, and how do we manage to leave our own comfort zone to take the first step in the right direction?
In Far Eastern cultures, greater emphasis is often placed on observing, taming and purifying the mind, the part of us that is responsible for blind reactions - and this has been the case for thousands of years. What are the achievements of these cultures? Among other things, this is probably meditation, which is also known in the West - basically a technique that is supposed to enable the purification of the mind. Among all the diverse forms, this is about Vipassana – insight meditation. The form of meditation that is free from any religion, but organized, taught in a standardized manner and available to everyone at no cost.
The Vipassana meditation
Vipassana meditation is an ancient practice that has its origins in the Buddhist tradition. The term “Vipassana” comes from Pali, an ancient Indian language, and means “clear vision” or “seeing within.” This form of meditation has fortunately been preserved over the centuries and was taught by Siddhartha Gautama, the historical Buddha.
The basic idea behind Vipassana is to gain a deep understanding of the nature of mind and reality through the development of mindfulness. The focus of this practice is the conscious observation of one's own thoughts, feelings and especially the diverse physical sensations. Through this intensive introspection, physical and mental phenomena should be examined, recognized and ultimately experienced as transitory.
The technique of Vipassana meditation involves sitting in silence and focusing on the breath. This serves to sharpen attention and calm the mind. As a result, the meditator directs his attention to different parts of the body in order to consciously perceive the sensations in each area.
A central aspect of Vipassana is non-identification with the arising thoughts and emotions. Practitioners learn to view these as temporary phenomena without getting carried away by them. This conscious distancing promotes emotional stability and inner peace.
Vipassana is often taught in the form of ten-day silent retreats in which participants devote themselves entirely to the practice and forego external distractions. These intensive retreats are offered worldwide and aim to provide meditators with a profound experience of inner transformation.
Vipassana meditation has numerous health and spiritual benefits, including stress relief, emotional balance, and a deeper understanding of one's psyche. Although the practice has its origins in Buddhism, it is accessible to people of different cultural and religious backgrounds.
In a world filled with constant distractions, Vipassana offers a way to calm down and explore your own mental landscape. By developing mindfulness and inner clarity, this ancient meditation technique can make a valuable contribution to a balanced and fulfilled life.
My personal experiences
I had my first contact with meditation through my best friend, who has lived in Indonesia for many years. One day he told me about his decision to go on a meditation retreat. The original reason was to better manage one's own catastrophic thoughts while surfing. Extreme sporting situations and nature can often involve intense thought processes, which are not always beneficial and can affect the fun. Through the retreat, he wanted to improve his surfing experience by freeing himself from constant thoughts of the clean-up set that will probably never happen or the rope break that will most likely never happen while mountaineering.
As a passionate surfer myself and well versed in catastrophic thinking, I found this topic particularly appealing. In a two-month period between jobs, I decided to first fly to Nias to surf, then take part in a meditation retreat and finally spend two weeks in the Mentawai Islands. Surfing in Nias was an absolute dream, but again I struggled with catastrophic thinking. What if the unlikely happens to me right here and I drown?
So just two weeks after starting my trip, I found myself standing at the doors of the Suan Mokkh forest monastery in Thailand to take part in an Anapana meditation retreat for ten days. There I realized that catastrophic thinking went far beyond sports and influenced other areas of my life. Why was I so afraid of nature? That felt very unnatural. Looking back, this was a wonderful introduction to the topic of meditation. Suan Mokkh is a magical place where you can take your first steps towards calm meditation. Since you not only sit, but also learn walking and standing meditation, it is a very good starting point for beginners. In any case, I left the monastery of silence with a golden shell that remained intact for two years - I was able to enjoy a significantly higher quality of life, just a lot less daily drama! But then I reduced the meditation times, cheated my way further and further down, and little by little I lost my inner strength, the blazing flame of inner wisdom and my untouchable relaxation. It's a real shame, but that's probably part of my path.
Seven years later, in a time of change, I sought sustainable positive transformation once again: polishing the golden armor, properly learning the tool of meditation, and integrating it into daily practice. My understanding of the power of meditation helped in the decision: Yes! I wanted to participate in a meditation retreat again to regain what had been lost.
Determined and ready to try new things or take the first step towards controlling the mind, I decided on a Vipassana retreat in Germany. What I lacked in Thailand were clear instructions on meditation techniques – this I would definitely receive at the only Vipassana meditation center in Germany. Once again, I followed the advice of my friend, who had recommended a Vipassana retreat after S.N. Goenka. He had long recognized how to extend the benefits of meditation beyond surfing to life as a whole. So off I went – I wanted to integrate more of this into my life.
Fifteen years have passed since my first attempts at meditation, and I must honestly admit that until the Vipassana retreat after S.N. Goenka, I had not really succeeded. Therefore, the next ten days were meant to truly learn how to meditate correctly – to calm, tame, and purify the mind. It wasn’t about a superficial break; rather, I wanted to make a serious attempt to find the path to inner peace and serenity, so I could respond appropriately in challenging moments in nature, sports, work, or everyday life. To respond in the best possible way and to be good to oneself and others – that was my goal.
The registration on Dhamma.org was straightforward, and two days later, I received the positive confirmation. Lucky, because the spots are highly sought after, and the demand far exceeds the current supply. Upon arrival, I had to hand over my phone and received my room key. Admittedly, this is a special situation: ten days without a phone, speaking, writing, or all the other distractions that make up our normal life. Whatever our daily life looks like – here it is really the extreme opposite. I am curious about what this experience will trigger in me this time, as I had already experienced something similar in Thailand.
Here in Triebel, everything is deliberately kept simple, and there are five important rules during the stay: Do not kill any living being, do not steal, avoid any sexual activity, do not lie, and do not consume intoxicants of any kind (including tobacco and alcohol). Women and men are represented in equal numbers but completely separated during the stay. Everything is designed so that one is not distracted from oneself – optimal conditions to really work on oneself. This is clearly about a special kind of rendezvous, without candlelight, with none other than myself!
The effect of the rules and measures was astonishingly noticeable to me from the very first day: a different perception of the environment, sharpened senses, and an intense experience of nature. Incredible what happens when attention is not distracted. A deep connection with all life became a very unexpected surprise for me. I was assigned a room. Oh dear - a double room! After a brief disappointment, I wondered who I would be sharing the room with. In the evening, after the distribution of meditation cushions and places, there was a small meal, and the "noble silence" was observed from 8 PM onwards. Since I came to the room shortly after 8 PM, we could no longer communicate, but my roommate gestured to me that he was a sleepwalker. He seemed like a nice guy, but this could be interesting – 10 nights of sleepwalking – how will I endure that, especially when we have to get up at 4 AM? Well, stay open, trust, and see what happens. Hopefully, he won't attack me. But I recognize my catastrophic thinking and trust even more because of it. At 2 AM, he actually crouched in front of my bed, and despite the absolute communication ban, I asked him in a friendly tone what he was doing there. "I’m just holding on!" he replied, totally confused. "You’re just holding on?" I asked, sleepy and overtired. Oh man – trust, trust, trust. He will go back to bed – and he did. I decided not to give in to my thoughts and to see this phenomenon as a unique wonder of nature. The human being, the biped, a diverse wonder creature, subject to the laws of nature like any other animal on Earth. From this perspective, simply fascinating!
Then, after so little sleep, the first of three gongs. What, already? I startled – my body vibrated. "What’s going on? Oh yes, 4 AM at the retreat – it really begins now. Thirty minutes later, I was sitting in the hyper-modern meditation hall. Seat D1 was assigned to me. Everything, including the ventilation systems, is designed so that 150 people can sit in complete silence simultaneously. About 50 male meditation students were sitting around me, with two teachers on small podiums at the front, who could be consulted about the technique during breaks. The first instructions came from a recording – S.N. Goenka himself provided various instructions on the technique throughout the day.
Days one to three are dedicated to calming the mind and preparing for the actual Vipassana meditation on the fourth day. From the beginning, one receives clear instructions on how to achieve the goal of inner peace. These clear instructions are particularly valuable, as finding the right method can take years. Essentially, it is about teaching the mind to focus on an object without wandering – a kind of taming the "monkey mind," that restless mind that jumps from thought branch to thought branch. Now it means sitting still and concentrating solely on the breath.
As one engages in this, muscles relax, and body and mind enter standby mode. Emerging thoughts are briefly observed before attention is redirected to the breathing spot below the nostrils. This requires a sharp mind, which can be well developed in the first three days. In this state, body and mind are in a charging mode, the body sits upright in a cross-legged position with minimal muscle effort. Time flies in this concentrated state.
The day always begins at 4 AM and is marked by sitting on the meditation cushion, short breaks, and the evening lecture by S.N. Goenka on video. During the breaks, I like to explore the extensive grounds with the forest. In the evenings, I wander through the grounds with a headlamp and observe nature – small ants on secret missions, fascinatingly wobbly leaves. Once, I even stand in front of a mouse hole until the mouse appears. On the fourth day, I want to check the mouse hole in the morning, but it is covered with blood, and the impressions of bird wings in the snow impress me deeply. Everything is transient, and that is exactly the point here: to experience and understand transience internally. What consequences do I draw from this fact, and how does this thought help me in daily life?
From day four to ten, the Vipassana technique is gradually explained and directly applied. The focus is on a mind that is becoming sharper and trained to perceive even finer body sensations. As one experiences these sensations, their transient nature is experienced firsthand. A strong desire for peace and harmony occupies me. The increased empathy and the desire to do something meaningful in life are palpable.
It feels good to see that there are people who take these qualities seriously, cultivate them, and work towards a more harmonious world. It feels a bit like a peace movement, a mission of harmony and love. Amidst the news of global conflicts, I felt disheartened recently. During an evening walk in the dark through the forest, I discover a peace sign made of fir branches on the ground, which touches me deeply. I also want to be part of this movement, do good, and contribute to harmony and peace. It seems meaningful to start an inner peace revolution, beginning with self-reflection and examining the truth about oneself. Only by inwardly pacifying potential conflict issues can one share inner progress with others. The goal is to weaken the ego and gradually do more good for others, increasingly basing actions on compassion. Although this now seems clear, normal, and desirable to me, it is unfortunately far removed from my past reality. Realizing my self-centeredness in the past honestly shocks me a little.
The extreme sport aspect begins on day five with three daily sessions where the position must not be changed for an hour. This presents an indescribable challenge, as unavoidable pain arises. Legs fall asleep, the tailbone hurts intensely, it itches in inaccessible places, and muscles tense up to cramps. Absolute determination is required to remain immobile in the position and as equanimous as possible. As I internally attempt to go beyond my pain threshold, tears roll down my cheeks. Time seems distorted, the hour must have long since passed. A heat wave spreads from pain and sheer aversion, but I practice acceptance, as aversion amplifies suffering. My insides seem about to explode, but I want to know now what lies beyond my comfort zone – the boundary claimed to be where real life begins.
I cheer myself on, overcome fear and dread, traverse the pain and my own limit. Suddenly, it happens: nothing! The long-plaguing knot in my back simply dissolves. My body now seems to accept and surrender to the painful experience. I’ve managed to break through the boundary. Humility and gratitude fill me. This experience is unique. The possibility of talking about it does not exist, which is actually fine with me at the moment. Does everything really need to be shared, especially the unpleasant things? We tend to talk about problems, pain, and inconveniences. Despite unbearable pain, I break off a session on day six, but acceptance helps me avoid aversion. A letter from my wife supports me in hours of boredom, pain, demotivation, and aversion. I miss my daughter very much, but I have to accept the current situation and my voluntary captivity. Being wishlessly happy in the moment now definitely makes the most sense. I feel a little closer to equanimity.
Despite the extreme pain and unpleasant experiences, one recognizes that everything has an end – a fundamental law of nature is omnipresent impermanence. Everything seems to move away from us. Even the extremely pleasant feelings in the "free flow" are important to recognize as transient. At some point, one feels a gentle tingling all over the body, which really grabs and fascinates. Here, something beautiful but also dangerous happens. The feeling has something of greed, passion, addiction, and sensual enjoyment and can become incredibly strong. The whole body trembles, wants to possess this feeling more and longer. Caution is advised because this is not what meditation is about. Maintaining equanimity and not lingering in it for too long are the teacher's advice.
I realize that I have long been on the wrong track. My meditations were meant to evoke exactly this feeling in me. An incredible experience – to experience the entire range of emotions without external influence, only through an inner trigger. Everything one needs seems to already be within oneself.
One question increasingly comes to the forefront: If all things, positive and negative, change so permanently, arise, and pass away – what is the consequence for my everyday life? Does it not make sense to better accept the unwanted things in my life and not to strive desperately to achieve and then hold on to the desired things? A clear "yes" comes from within! I realize that one comes closer to the solutions against negative thinking internally and cannot find the solution in the external world. Deep humility and gratitude flow through me again – I seem to be really on the right path here.
Day 10 marks the end of the silence. My roommate, a friendly electro DJ from Cologne in his 40s, apologizes several times for his sleepwalking. We laugh heartily about the nightly events. Everyone is relieved that the course is over, although this means facing the demands of everyday life again. In a good mood, we enjoy the conversations. Over the ten days, we have only silently observed each other, and my assessments of the other participants turn out to be largely incorrect. This realization motivates me not to judge anyone prematurely anymore.
After the course ends, I drive four hours home and realize that I am still processing what I have experienced. In the following days, I notice on the side that my mood has improved. I am lighter on my feet, and the Christmas hustle does not affect me much. This is new to me – the world no longer reaches me as directly. It almost feels like everyday equanimity. Apparently, I have achieved my goal of overwriting my ingrained thought patterns with new ones.
Since then, I sit on my cushion at home every day, between 5 and 6 AM. Because I know: Nothing comes from nothing, and I have to do everything to keep my inner house clean now. It is amazing to realize that the opposite of my usual actions leads to the experience of inner peace.
The consequence for me is clear: I will continue on this path because it benefits me and the people around me. I am grateful for what may be the most important days of my life and the opportunity to have such experiences. People who have already done several retreats report constantly new experiences. What will happen in the next retreat? It will certainly not be the last. I feel deep gratitude for all the helpers who made this experience possible, and I intend to give back as a helper myself someday